


Sleep

by a_porkcutletbowl_fatale



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sickfic, Victor's perspective, Yuuri cries a lot, for now at least, i'll add more characters as they show up, kind of?, these two dorks just love each other so much
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-18 05:40:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9370592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_porkcutletbowl_fatale/pseuds/a_porkcutletbowl_fatale
Summary: Victor knew that coaching Yuri and competing at the same time would be hard. He was prepared for the judgement and he knew they would have to bend some rules to make it work, but he believed with all his heart that they could do it. Together. He was unprepared for the reality of the situation they would be facing, however, and the effort finally caught up with him in a way he is entirely unprepared for.





	1. Chapter 1

“Victor? Hey, Vicchan, wake up sleepy head.”

Slowly, drowsily, Victor blinked open his eyes when he felt the bed dip beside him. He was greeted by Yuri, who was looking gently at him with soft eyes and flushed cheeks, as though he had been running. A quick gaze showed him dressed in his skating clothes, black track pants and a dark t-shirt, and slowly the confusion of sleep melted away as Victor pushed himself up into a sitting position.

“Hmmm,” Victor hummed, pulling Yuri’s hand into his own and running his finger over the gold band. “What is it, my love?”

“You slept in.” Yuri replied, looking fondly at his fiance. “Yakov is waiting for you at the rink. You seemed so tired last night, I didn’t want to wake you up early this morning, but I thought you’d be up by now. I called but you never answered.”

Victor pulled his gaze away from their hands and felt a little guilt pool in his stomach. “I’m so sorry. You should have woken me up.”

“It’s okay, I was fine by myself. But if you don’t get there soon, Yakov is going to throw a fit. He’s already mad.” 

It was just like Yuri to try and cope on his own. Maybe he was fine, but Victor should have been there for him, and he wasn’t. He was still his coach after all, and he shouldn’t have left his student to practice all on his own, especially so close to a competition. 

“No no, it’s not okay. I’m sorry Yuri. I’ll make it up to you, I swear.” There was a solid promise in his voice, but somehow he couldn’t fight the tiredness that filtered through along with it. 

Yuri detangled his fingers from Victor’s and reached forward to cup his cheek. “Are you okay? You really did seem tired last night, even more than normal.”

Victor took Yuri’s wrist, brought his hand to his lips, and kissed his palm. He did his best to sound sincere while Yuri’s eyes searched his for signs of deceit. “I’m fine, I promise. Give me a few minutes to get ready and I’ll meet you in the lobby.”

“Okay, if you’re sure.” His eyes said he didn’t believe Victor, but Victor knew he wasn’t one to pry, so he just stood, trailing his hand across Victor’s as he moved away, and headed for the door. “I’ll see you in a few. I love you.”

Victor smiled his brightest smile as Yuri departed, and he called out, “I love you too!” 

As soon as Yuri closed the door behind him, Victor put his head in his hands and groaned. He’d had a headache since last night, and his limbs didn’t seem to want to cooperate. He didn’t want to admit it, but it was probably from exhaustion. Not only had he been spending twice as much time on the ice this season, coaching Yuri and practicing with Yakov afterward, but he had twice the stress of worrying about Yuri and about himself. He didn’t hold back on account of Yuri being his fiance and the love of his life, in fact, he knew the harder he worked, the harder Yuri was working to beat him, and it was to many people’s surprise that they didn’t have an issue supporting each other and simultaneously competing. They had an unconventional relationship in many respects, but they had learned to communicate much better since those first few months after Victor had shown up in Hasetsu, and they made every relevant thought and feeling clear to each other. There was trust, far deeper than Victor had ever experienced in his life. He knew that Yuri had come far enough in their relationship to feel that trust with him, even though his anxiety still tried to hold him back. He had opened up, and he was always honest about his fears, and Victor had learned how to comfort him without coddling him.

But still, there was one thing Victor didn’t want Yuri to know, for his own sake, and that was just how tired he was. His biggest fear was letting Yuri down, and he couldn't bear it if he knew Yuri wasn’t reaching his full potential because of his failings as a coach. The fear had been lingering since last season, what with his complete lack of experience as a coach, and had only grown when he returned to competing. He refused to sacrifice time with Yuri for his own practice, which meant physically he had twice the amount of work to do, as well as twice the amount of mental stress, and he didn’t want that to filter into his role as a coach. They’d had to pull a lot of strings to make this work, make a lot of compromises and face a lot of judgement, and he didn’t want that to go to waste. 

On top of that, he knew Yuri would be devastated if he felt that he was in anyway holding Victor back. He always made it crystal clear that Yuri was never a burden to him, ever, and any failings were entirely his own. But by now he was aware of how Yuri’s mind worked, and no matter what he said or did, he knew there would always be a lingering doubt, so he did his best to never cause that doubt to grow into fear or full-blown anxiety. 

Taking a deep breath to centre himself, he pushed the covers off him completely. He felt a little faint when he stood, but as he stretched the feeling faded away and was replaced with a longing to be on the ice, and a desire to hold his love’s hand. He made quick work of getting dressed and splashed cold water on his face to make sure he was completely awake, then hurried out of the room and down the stairs to meet Yuri. 

They didn’t talk much while they jogged to the nearby arena, but it was a comfortable silence that they had been experiencing for a long time now. At the arena, they parted with a short, passionate kiss. At Victor’s own insistence, they were professional while Victor was coaching, but that didn’t stop them from being affectionate when that time came to an end. Yuri made his way to the stands to watch while Victor quickly laced up his skates and glided over to where Yakov was waiting, arms crossed over his chest.

Victor had expected him to be angry, to yell and criticize him before putting him to work harder than yesterday, but instead the old man simply stared at him with judgemental eyes. 

“I told you last year you were a fool for doing this.” He said gruffly, “And I’ve told you probably a hundred time since that I don’t approve.”

Victor hadn’t expected this. He glanced up to where Yuri sat in the stands, watching, and pleaded with Yakov to keep his voice down. They were speaking in Russian, but Victor didn’t want Yuri to hear the tone in their voices. He would guess what was going on. Besides, he had picked up a bit of the language, just as Victor had picked up some Japanese.

“Please,” He said. “Lecture me if you must but don’t let him hear you.” 

“Listen to me. I like Yuri very much. He is a talented skater and a respectable man. But he is not my student, you are. And I will not tolerate this, you understand? Not to mention you left him all alone to practice this morning. As his coach, as well as my student, you should be ashamed. You cannot carry on with this, it is a fool’s errand. You will suffer for it, Vitya, mark my words, and what’s worse, you will drag him down with you.”

Guilt again gripped Victor’s heart, but he pushed it quickly down. He couldn’t afford to let doubts cloud his judgement. He had to stay on track, for Yuri. He would just have to work harder.

“Ahhh, Yakov.” He said, smiling brightly. He hoped Yuri couldn’t see him to clearly. He always could see through that fake smile. “I just slept in, that’s all. It was a one time thing. I’m fine, Yuri’s fine, Yurio is full of teenage angst, we’re all fine.” 

He laughed jovially, and patted Yakov on the shoulder. The old man sighed, and pushed his hand away with a grunt. 

“Fine. But you had better not let either of us down, you hear me you fool?”

“Absolutely.”

 

Practice went fairly smoothly, but Victor found he was tiring quicker than normal. The last few years of his career he had recognized that he couldn't push himself as far has he could when he was younger, and he had had to utilize more creative means of surprising people and making himself into a winner, but this was different. This was his body being unable to cope with the demands that needed to be put on it. There were compromises he could not make, and he tried desperately not to let it show. He tried to ignore the way his legs shook a little after jumps or the way he often couldn't slow his breathing after a difficult round of practice. He shoved all of it down and forced himself to concentrate, if not for himself, then for Yuri.

He should have known, however, that his fiance would not miss those subtle signs. They knew each other too well, to intimately, to be able to hide such things from each other. The walk back to the hotel after practice started off quietly, but not in the comfortable way it had been in the morning. It was quiet in the way that it was when Yuri wanted to talk, but was trying to decide what to say or how to say it. Victor had never really known anyone that took that long to initiate conversation before, even when the topic was difficult or confusing, but he knew it was important that Yuri take that time to mentally prepare, so he never tried to prompt him anymore. He knew Yuri would talk when he was ready. 

“Victor…” Yuri began. He took Victor’s hand and squeezed, and Victor knew it was as much to physically ground him than it was a gesture of affection. Sometimes Yuri needed that physical contact to feel secure. 

“Yes, love?” He knew what this was about, but he was careful to let Yuri take his time. He knew Yuri was grateful for it.

“You really did seem… well.... Not yourself, on the ice today. I know that this is the first season I’ve been close to you for your competitions. And, well, I’ve already qualified for the grand prix final, thanks to you, so I’ve been able to relax a little and focus on preparing for that instead of worrying about qualifying. And I know I’ve moved past seeing you as my idol. You’re an inspiration to me, and you’re my most important support system, but you’re no longer an enigma. You’re here, and you’re real, and I love you.”

This was strange. Victor wasn’t sure where Yuri was going with this. It was normal for him to take a while to get his thoughts out, for him to follow a sort of twisting and turning path until he reached what it was he wanted to say, but this didn’t seem to be anything about what Victor thought it would be about.

“I guess…” Yuri took a deep breath, and continued. “I guess I never put any thought into how you cope with the stress of competitions, since you always seem so calm and collected, and I’m always so worked up and anxious, but you must get nervous too, right? And I know I’m not your coach but I am… I am your future husband,” He blushed a little at this, “And I should be supporting you too, so if you’re nervous or anything, you can tell me, and I’ll help you relax, however you want. We can watch funny movies or go on a date or have a special dinner together, just us, you know? Or we can bathe together, like back in Hasetsu. I know it’s not like the hot spring but it would be nice all the same, right?”

Victor felt his heart melt. Yuri was rambling now, but it was cute, and he had gotten his message across. Victor was thankful he wasn’t doubting himself or feeling guilty, and he was even more thankful that he was thinking of how he himself might be feeling about competing. He smiled, and let him carry on with his stream of consciousness.

“Or, I mean, if you want to be alone, I understand. You always respect me needing time to myself, so I’ll give you that if you want. Or we could also, well… you know… you always take care of me in that way and it always helps me to… um... relax. I guess… and I know I’m not really experienced but I’d do my best and I mean we’ve gone pretty far already so I’m willing to… well… you know…”

Victor stopped in his tracks, startling Yuri and pulling his arm so that he stumbled a little. He faced Victor, face beet red and full of embarrassment, and fell silent.

“Yuri Katsuki, are you offering what I think you’re offering?”

“Sorry… I just… got a little carried away. I just want to be supportive, and I want you to feel good about performing and I want you to feel good with me, physically, and I just…”

Victor cut him off by pulling him tightly against him and kissing him, maybe a little harder than normal. Yuri, shocked at first, and unused to kissing like this in such a public space, melted into it after a moment, taking it as Victor’s way of accepting his proposal. After a few moments of making out on the sidewalk, Victor broke away with a grin. Yuri looked like a hot mess now, with his glasses pushed at an awkward angle and his lips wet, looking up at Victor and panting slightly. Victor loved him all the time, so hard it sometimes hurt, but he had to admit this was a good look on him.

Victor laughed, smoothing Yuri’s hair and fixing his glasses, and took him by the hand again and continued their walk. 

“That sounds like a lovely idea, darling, and I do accept. But don’t worry, I’m not nervous, just a little tired. I’ll be fine very soon. I am  _ the _ Victor Nikiforov after all. What sort of Russian legend would I be if I couldn’t handle a little competition?”

Yuri, after catching his breath, laughed and squeezed Victor’s hand. “You may be a Russian legend but you’re also an idiot.  _ My  _ idiot.” Victor could tell his joking tone was a facade for hiding the fact that he was more than a little turned on in a public street.

Victor grinned at him, genuinely grinned, and squeezed him back. “I look forward to seeing how you ‘take care of me’.”

Yuri was speechless again, pleasantly embarrassed, and Victor felt a surge of affection. This was his Yuri. This was the man he was going to marry. Talented, beautiful, loving, awkward, adorable Yuri. The man who could go from being a flushed, embarrassed mess to a beautiful, powerful seductress with either a pair of skates or the right kind of encouragement. He loved him, and he wanted to give him the world.

The only problem was he was too tired to lift it.

 

The day of the competition arrived, and Victor had somehow managed to conceal his fading strength from Yuri and Yakov. He forced himself out of bed every morning with a smile as bright as the sun, gave his all to coaching Yuri, then put everything he had left into pleasing Yakov. He and Yuri were doing their best to take time for themselves, and Yuri had made good on his promise to take care of Victor and help him relax. Every night he drew a hot bath and they soaked together, sometimes moving onto doing more. More often than not though, Victor crashed the moment he got out of the bath. He’d fall asleep naked and soaking wet, and he’d wake up in the morning warm and as tired as he had been the night before, only he’d be wearing pants. Yuri would be cuddled up beside him, sometimes holding his hand or arm. Yuri seemed a little more concerned about him than usual, but he never said anything about it.

It was working. He was doing okay. It was all a blur, but he was doing okay. 

Still, he could hide this from Yuri, but he couldn’t hide it from himself. He was exhausted, and for the first time in his life, he wasn’t sure he would make it. He was pacing the floor, waiting for his turn, trying to focus on Yakov’s pre-skate lecture, but his mind was growing foggy and the world seemed to be swimming around him. Had he eaten today? He couldn’t remember. His mouth was dry and cottony. His name was called, and he was snapped back into reality. It was his turn.

He turned to Yuri, who smiled, and kissed him on the cheek.

“I’ll be cheering you on. You can do this, Vicchan.” Yuri smiled. Victor felt himself regain some strength. Yuri believed in him, and that was all that mattered.

He could do this. He was Victor Nikiforov, the russian legend. He had never not made it to finals. He had been the world's most successful ice skater since he was a teenager. He could do this. 

He stepped out onto the ice, took his starting pose, and when the music started he began to skate. This was good. He was doing fine. He focused on the music, willing his body to follow the motions. 

But soon he felt himself fading. He was breathing too heavily, his heart was beating too fast. He couldn’t focus. He was hungry, thirsty, tired, unsure. He was skating through a thick fog of confusion. Where was he again? He heard the announcers say something about not performing the correct step sequence. What? What step sequence? The music threatened to drown him, or was that just the choking feeling in his chest? He heard a chord and something momentarily clicked in him. Right. The routine. He had to follow the routine. For Yuri.

He poised himself for the first jump, lifted off the ground, and felt himself hit the ice all wrong before the world went black. 


	2. Chapter 2

When Victor woke, it was like pushing through a thick cloud of fog into consciousness. He didn’t want to wake up. He wanted to stay asleep, locked away in his unconscious mind. He wasn’t sure if he had been dreaming, but he knew that he had felt content, and he wanted to hold onto that feeling, if just for a little while. 

But he was pulled back into reality by the sounds coming from nearby. A nose sniffling, suppressed whimpers, and heavy gasping breaths, forcibly drawn out as though someone were trying to calm themselves down. He opened his eyes and felt a little blinded by the harsh white lights surrounding him. He blinked, still caught up in the fog, and looked around. 

He was in a hospital room. White tiles lined the floors and the walls were painted a calming shade of baby blue. There were medical devices beeping quietly all around him and he winced when he looked down at his arm and saw an IV taped to his skin. Beside him sat Yuri, his face concealed by his hands, sobbing. His glasses were on the table beside the bed. 

With horror, Victor looked on at his fiance, the memories of what happened slowly coming back to him. He had collapsed on the ice, in front of everyone. Yakov was no doubt somewhere nearby, waiting for Yuri to find him so he could give Victor the lecture he most certainly deserved. His head was pounding, his stomach churned and he felt like was going to be sick. But Victor’s biggest worry was Yuri. This was exactly what he had been so certain he would not allow to happen. Yuri was devastated, almost certainly blaming himself for what had happened. He had probably worked himself up into multiple anxiety attacks while Victor had been unconscious, and Victor had been unable to help him calm down.

With a groan, Victor tried to slowly push himself up into a sitting position. At the sound of his movement, Yuri gasped and pulled his hands away from his face, and leaned forward as though to touch Victor, then pulled away as quickly as he had drawn close.

“Vi… Victor.” He choked. “You’re awake.” He was clearly trying to conceal the fact that he had been crying, and he swiped at his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket. He couldn’t seem to manage a smile, though he appeared to be trying.

“Yuri.” Victor reached out and took one of Yuri’s hands. The effort leached away at his energy, and he cursed inside his head, angry at himself for putting his fiance and his student through this.

“Yuri, love, are you okay?”

Yuri’s eyes widened, incredulous and still filled with tears. 

“You’re asking  _ me _ if  _ I’m okay _ ? I’m not the one who passed out mid-routine!”

Victor winced at the reminder. He had messed up, big time. He would not be making it to the grand prix final, he knew that much. It wasn’t every day that skaters actually failed to perform or complete their routines, but Victor knew this meant the end of the line in this competition. Yakov would be furious. 

“I’m sorry.” Yuri mumbled when he noticed Victor’s pained expression. “I just… I should have seen this coming. I should have made sure you were eating and drinking and sleeping enough. I should have taken better care of you. I shouldn’t have forced you to coach me like this.”

This was exactly what Victor had feared. Yuri blaming himself, hating himself. It didn’t matter how many times Victor told him, that coaching was his decision and he didn’t regret it one bit, and that Yuri was always his first priority. Yuri just didn’t seem to understand. This wasn’t just about his anxiety forcing him towards negative thoughts and making him overthink. Although Victor was sure that contributed, this was a symptom of a larger problem, and that was Victor thinking he could handle much more than he was actually capable of handling. 

He had thought he could do it. He could say without being narcissistic that he was the best men’s figure skater in the world. He had always shouldered everything on his own, training, choreographing, competition stress and the weight that came with being a celebrity. His life had always been exhausting, though he hadn’t really noticed until he took a break to coach Yuri. Still, ever since he had taken up his title and maybe long before that, he had handled it. He thought he could handle this too.

He had been wrong, and just like Yakov had told him he would, he was dragging Yuri down with him. 

“Yuri,” Victor began, his strained voice pleading. “Please don’t-”

He was cut off when Yuri stood up, suddenly looming over him, wringing his hands. 

“I’m supposed to go find a nurse when you wake up.”

Startled at the sudden movement, and still feeling like he had just run a marathon with no training, Victor only nodded dumbly. Yuri grabbed his glasses before he turned and hurried away out the door. 

Left alone on the hospital bed, the IV pumping unfamiliar substances through his veins, Victor wanted to cry. It felt strange, this desire to cry. Victor wasn’t used to crying. The last time he had cried had been tears of joy from seeing Yuri so proud and successful on the ice, and the time before that he had been mad, very very mad. This time it wasn’t brought on by any form of anger, sadness, or joy. For the first time in his life he felt truly overwhelmed and there were too many thoughts and emotions pouring around his mind. His brain was still confused and tired and he was quite sure that whatever was in his IV drip was contributing to that feeling. He wanted desperately to close his eyes and return to the state of contentment he had inhabited before waking up, but he kept his eyes open and waited for Yuri to return.

After a minute or so, a woman wearing scrubs covered in cherry blossoms entered the room, and Yuri trailed silently behind her. 

“Mr. Nikiforov, I am glad to see you are awake.” She had a soft, comforting voice, and her clothes seemed to reflect the calming aura she gave off.  Victor was glad for it, maybe she would help Yuri feel a little more at ease. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired. But I’m okay.” Victor was acutely aware of Yuri standing behind her, still wringing his hands. He chose his words carefully and smiled at the woman.

“Your friends were very worried about you, but I have assured them you would pull through just fine. Your coach had to drag a young blond boy out of the building though. He was quite insistent on being allowed to see you.” She smiled as she looked him over, checking the IV and the machine attached to the clip on his finger, monitoring his heart rate. “You gave everyone quite the scare, but you’ll be alright. You were somewhat dehydrated and seemed to be working on a mostly empty stomach. Mr. Katsuki has told me you’ve been falling asleep easily at night, but that you wake up quite early and have seemed tired throughout the day. You’ve clearly overworked yourself. We’ve mostly been giving you fluids and a little something to keep you asleep.”

Victor glanced at Yuri when she moved away to write something on her clipboard. Yuri was fighting back tears again and Victor felt guilt surge up in his stomach. 

“How long was I out?” He asked, tearing his eyes away from his fiance’s face.

“A few hours. You were somewhat conscious when you were first brought in, but quite confused and you passed out again rather quickly. At first we weren’t sure whether you simply fell or if you had injured yourself with the impact, but you lack any severe injuries. You did not hit your head, I can say that for certain, which is lucky considering the way you fell. Thankfully the footage taken shows the way you hit the ground, so we were able to rule that out quickly enough. You’ll have a few nasty bruises, I recommend ice for those, but other than that I can say you have simply pushed yourself too far. What’s most important is that you get rest, plenty of water, and a good solid meal. None of those sports drinks you athletes advertise. They’re entirely sugar and you need proper sustenance.”

Victor didn’t feel like eating, his stomach protested at only the thought of food, and he fought back the urge to let the nurse know that none of the skaters he knew actually consumed those sorts of things. Sleep, however, sounded fantastic, and he nodded.

“The doctor will come by to check on you soon, but you should be cleared to leave today. If you are, you need to go straight to wherever it is you’re staying, have something to eat, and go to bed. I also recommend that you return home soon, as soon as you feel you can make it through a flight, and continue to rest there. I’m sorry Mr. Nikiforov, there will be no skating for you for a while, at least.”

Victor knew that, had known that the moment he had realized what had happened, but it still hurt to hear the nurse say it. She departed after a few more tests, and Yuri returned to the chair beside the bed, and brushed Victor’s bangs out of his face. He looked wrecked. His eyes were red and puffy from crying, his hand was hot and trembling, and he was wearing an odd assortment of clothes, as though someone had brought him something to change into while he was waiting for Victor to wake up. 

Silently, Yuri leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Victor’s forehead. The action was loving and soft and Victor found himself wanting Yuri to do it again. Instead Yuri just hovered there, breathing slow, controlled breaths, and Victor reached up and cupped Yuri’s face in his hands, pulling him down for a proper kiss. It was warm and gentle, meant as a comfort for Yuri, but Victor found himself more comforted by the action than Yuri would be. 

Sitting back down on the chair, Yuri simply looked at Victor, and Victor wanted so badly to pull Yuri down on the bed beside him and hold onto him tightly while they slept. He knew what Yuri was thinking. He knew every thought that had gone through Yuri’s head while he had been out. He knew how Yuri must have struggled, and he wished he could take every single bad thought away and replace them with nothing but happiness and love. 

They didn’t speak, only looked at each other. Victor knew how the conversation would go if they were to talk right now.

_ I’m sorry Yuri. _

_ No, I’m sorry. _

_ It’s not your fault. It’s mine. I let everyone down, especially you. _

_ You didn’t let anyone down. We’ll fly back to Russia and you can relax there and we’ll take it slow until you’re ready to skate again. _

_ No, we’ll fly back to Japan and the moment I am able to skate again I’ll continue to help you train for the final.  _

All of that went unsaid though, and Victor felt the pull of sleep tugging on his mind. He slipped back into unconsciousness with Yuri running his fingers through his hair.

  
  
  


When Victor woke again, only an hour had passed. Yuri was sleeping on the chair beside him with his hand loosely tangled up in Victor’s. The doctor visited, waking Yuri, and after careful scrutiny Victor was cleared to leave under strict orders that he not skate or exert himself in any way for a few days at least, and then he was warned to take it easy and only skate when necessary to coach Yuri. The doctor was much more harsh than the nurse, and Victor grew resentful of the way he ordered Yuri to watch over him and make sure he ate properly and did as he was told. Yuri shrank away from him, but nodded and thanked him nonetheless, and together they left and went down to the lobby. 

Yakov was waiting there for them, and after a brief conversation with the doctor, which Victor knew was a repeat of what had been told to Yuri, he turned to Victor with his arms crossed over his chest and his expression surprisingly thoughtful. After a moment of silence, he reached out and pat Victor roughly on the shoulder in what was clearly to be interpreted as a man-to-man gesture of comfort and relief.

“I won’t say I told you so.” He said. The words seemed critical but the tone wasn’t there in his voice. “I’m just glad you’re okay. You could have gotten very hurt, and I am grateful that you didn’t. Now maybe you will give your student the dedication he deserves, hm?”

Yuri opened his mouth to protest, but Victor silenced him with a look. The last thing he needed was Yuri arguing with Yakov. Though he knew that neither of them harboured negative feelings for eachother, he also knew Yuri would defend him, and what he wanted right now was some peace. 

He couldn’t take Yakov’s last comment to heart, no matter how much he wanted to. The man only wanted what was best for all his students, and since Yuri was not only Victor’s student but his fiance, he wanted what was best for both of them. He wasn’t a cruel man. 

After ensuring that Victor was properly checked out the three of them left the hospital. Victor was unsurprised to see that there were reporters outside the door, waiting for their chance to ask questions. Victor pointedly ignored them, hardly in the mood to talk to anyone, let alone people with notepads and cameras and questions. Normally he didn’t mind the press, they were more of an annoyance really, and he often enjoyed the attention, but this was a different situation than he was used to. Yakov did his best to shield them from the flashes, but it was Yuri who finally snapped, shocking everyone around them. He marched right up to the nearest reporter and with no hesitancy he told them all to “piss off” and “leave them alone”, before saying something in japanese that sounded impossibly like a swear word. Surprised, the reporters fell silent and stepped back several paces, and Victor, Yuri and Yakov hurried to the taxi that was waiting for them.

Thankfully, the driver didn’t say much, and Victor leaned into Yuri in the backseat and allowed himself to succumb to the feeling of Yuri rubbing his hand in comforting circled on his back. This was not a side of Yuri he was used to. He had never seen Yuri snap like that before, had never even heard him swear, and while he wasn’t certain what that word had meant he knew it wasn’t nice. Perhaps later Yuri would remember what he had said and regret it, but for now he was steady and warm and Victor drifted off, not really into sleep, but into a state of drowsy compliance. 

When they reached the hotel he had to be coaxed out of the car and he leaned against Yuri the whole way up to their floor. At the door to Yakov’s room the man nodded at Victor and told Yuri to take care of him. Yuri nodded diligently, his eyebrows set in a way that said he would take care of everything, and they walked a few doors down to their own room. 

Inside, Victor drooped like a flower in a heat wave. Yuri helped him kick off his shoes and jacket and brought him over to lie down on the bed. He got him a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt to change into and plugged his phone in beside the bed. Yuri leaned over the bed to give Victor a light kiss and moved towards the door.

“I’m going to get you something to eat. Get changed and I’ll be back in a little bit.”

Victor’s heart jumped a little at the thought of Yuri leaving him and he tried to sit up. “I’ll come with you.”

“Absolutely not! You could barely keep upright all the way here. You’re still drowsy from the stuff they gave you at the hospital, I think. Besides, you heard what the doctor said. You need to rest.”

Victor wanted to protest, but he knew it would be know use. He didn’t think he’d make it down to the hotel lobby if he tried, let alone to the store. 

Yuri’s expression was gentle. “I’ll be as fast as I can. I promise. Is there anything in particular that you want?”

“No.” He paused, thinking, and registered a dull ache in his elbow and his hip where bruises has formed from his collision with the ice. He touched his hip. “Some ice, maybe?”

Yuri nodded, promised he would bring it, and then he left. 

Victor thought that he was acting strange. Not only was his steady demeanor uncharacteristic, especially when Victor knew he must be incredibly upset, but the way he had snapped at the reporters suggested that he was walking on a thin line of stress. The combination of those two traits made Victor uneasy. They couldn’t afford distractions like this, not with the final looming in front of them. Yuri would already be set back if Victor had to take time off of coaching him, even if it was only a few days, and he didn’t need to be weighed down by his emotions as well.

When Yuri returned to the room, Victor had put on the sweatpants but left the shirt, and was scrolling through social media on his phone. There were articles surfacing already which he prefered not to see, but the headlines stood out to him and he couldn’t stop looking. 

 

**Russian skating legend Victor Nikiforov taken to hospital after collapsing during his short program.**

 

**Has the pressure of coaching and competing been too much for Russian skater Victor Nikiforov? Click here to find out.**

 

**Katsuki Yuri verbally assaults reporters outside of hospital.**

 

**Skating scandal! A potentially injured russian and an angry fiance spark rumours in the figure skating world.**

 

That last headline made Victor roll his eyes. This was hardly a scandal, he had been involved in far worse in the duration of his career, but somehow the media always made everything look like a much bigger deal than it was. The media really had  _ no idea _ what really went on outside of interviews and public competitions. 

Yuri was on the phone when he came through the door, awkwardly kicking his shoes off without his hands, one being occupied by his phone and one holding a brown paper bag and several ice packs. He ended the conversation as he approached Victor and sat down on the side of the bed.

“I got you a sandwich and a muffin from the cafe down the street.” He said, placing the paper bag on the bedside table. “I thought about getting you something to drink but caffeine didn’t seem like a good idea right now and they didn’t have any chamomile tea.”

“Can I eat it later? I don’t think my stomach can handle food right now,” admitted Victor. He reached for the ice packs though and, shuffling so he was lying down completely, he rested one on his bruised hip and one on his elbow. 

“Of course.” Yuri replied. “But you should try to eat soon. You haven’t really eaten since this morning, and if I’m being honest, I won’t let you eat just granola bars for breakfast anymore, okay?”

The look in his eyes was surprisingly harsh, and Victor looked away and changed the subject. “Who were you talking to on the phone?”

“Yurio. He wanted to know what happened and if you were okay. The nurse was being polite when she said he was insistent. He actually called her a number of rude things when she said he couldn’t see you.”

That made Victor chuckle lightly. Yurio put on a tough act most of the time, but he was really rather emotional. Victor assumed it was part of being a teenager, though he couldn't remember being quite as bratty as Yurio was. 

“You should try and get some sleep. It’s getting pretty late. Yakov said I could practice with him and Yurio for the next day or so, until we can get a flight back to Russia, so if I’m gone when you wake up, that’s why.”

Yuri moved to stand, perhaps to get dinner with some of the other skaters, something he did much more frequently than he used to. He had made more friends, which Victor was grateful for. But Victor grabbed Yuri’s wrist before he could get away.

“Wait. Yuri, will you stay with me? Please? Order room service or something. Just stay and sleep with me.” The words came out pleading and he cringed at the sound of his own voice. Only Yuri could make him feel that way, so desperate to hold onto something he knew would be there no matter what. He’d had to work for Yuri, for their relationship, in a way he had never had to work for something before, and sometimes it left him with a ghost of what Yuri felt all the time. Insecurity. 

Yuri’s face softened, and he pressed a kiss to Victor’s cheek. “Okay,” he whispered. “I’ll stay. I was only going to take a shower. I ate in the hospital cafeteria.”

The two of them always booked a room with two beds, just to keep things looking mildly professional, but rarely used both of them. The spare bed was only used when one of them was already asleep and the other didn’t want to wake them up by climbing in beside them. Still, Victor wanted Yuri close to him tonight, so while Yuri changed into clothes he could sleep in, Victor removed the ice packs, stood, and moved over to where he was. When Yuri was dressed in a t-shirt and sleep pants, Victor wrapped his arms around him and kissed him. It was soft and loving, the sort of kisses they were both used to, and he pulled Yuri over towards the bed. 

They climbed in side by side, and Yuri snuggled up against Victor’s bare chest. He placed his hand over Victor’s heart, something he often did to ground himself, and as a gesture of love. 

“You know, I was really worried about you today.” He murmured. 

Victor kissed the top of his head. “I’m so sorry Yuri.”

“You don’t have to be sorry, it’s really not your fault.” Yuri replied. “I just… I don’t know what I would do if anything ever happened to you…” There was an edge to his voice, and Victor could tell that tears were forming in his eyes. He knew there was a conversation due, one about other feelings, but for now he just wanted Yuri to be comfortable so they could both sleep.

“Shhhh. Yuri it’s alright. Nothing bad is going to happen to me. This was my own doing.  _ I  _ pushed myself too far.”

“Accidents happen though. I don’t like seeing you hurt.”

“I know, I know.” Victor soothed, rubbing Yuri’s back. “I don’t like seeing you hurt either, which is why I need you to understand that this isn’t a big deal. Tomorrow we can work through it, but for now, I just need you to breathe, okay?”

Yuri nodded. He sniffed and looked up at Victor. His mouth formed a smile. It was small, but a smile nonetheless. “I love you.” He whispered.

“I love you too.”

Eventually, Yuri drifted off to sleep, and Victor followed soon after, wrapped in the comfort and security of the one person he loved more than anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> Thank you to those who left comments on the first chapter you're too kind! I'm so stupidly insecure about my writing but you guys really boosted my confidence so thank you.
> 
> I was going to write this chapter from Yuri's perspective, but it just didn't feel right to me so I rewrote it and just continued Victor's perspective. I think I like it better that way, because while Victor is doing his best to understand and support Yuri, and he has obviously learned from experience, he still gets things wrong sometimes, and that's an important part of their dynamic, in my opinion. Even very good and healthy relationships involve miscommunication sometimes, and being someone with some degree of my own anxiety, I understand how Yuri has a difficult time believing in himself and the people who love him.  
> Also, I'm definitely not a doctor or anything so I had a difficult time going about writing the hospital bit and if I'm being honest it's mostly based of personal experience, though I did read up on certain things, so I hope it all makes sense. 
> 
> Anyway, enough of my silly rambling. I hope you enjoyed chapter two! Thank you for reading!
> 
> ❤

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! 
> 
> I really hope you enjoyed this first chapter. It's my first time actually posting my writing where other people can read it and I wasn't sure I should post it, but I let my sibling read it and she liked it so here it is! It wasn't going to be more than one chapter when I started but it sort of worked out that way and I figured I'd just go with the flow? I'm not very good at planning my writing in advance. 
> 
> Anyway, I would really appreciate knowing what people think! 
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> ❤


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